twenty

I was thinking a few days ago how hard it really is to be 20 years old. You aren't exactly a full "adult" and you aren't really a child or teenager either. I feel like some days are a tug of war between being young and being responsible. Being responsible has never been very hard for me, but some days I have urges to spend money I shouldn't, party on days I shouldn't, and be somewhat forgetful about important things. Mistakes are sometimes common, but always fixed. Sometimes I like to blame my wrongs on my age even though there isn't any excuse. I guess through my personal tug of war, my adult side should always win. (which it always does) You learn when you get older that when you make childish mistakes, you don't get childish consequences. That's for sure. The freedom is worth it though. People used to always tell me I should dread growing up. I always felt like they said these things to make me feel young and ignorant. In defense for the younger me, I wasn't. And now that I am older and on my own, you get over the fact that you have to pay bills. It's a part of life, but there is nothing better than making it somewhere on your own.